Thursday, October 29, 2009

The Question of Culture

Halloween. Christmas. Valentine's Day...

The list goes on. The list is of holidays (in no particular order) that are part of the culture that I come from. I'm at the point when I really want to stress the importance of the cultures that Shimon and I share because we are a couple. Most of the time he just listens to me babble about things that I want to do in the future (Christmas trees, etc.).

On occasion his minimalist tendencies bubble over and he says things like "we don't need a tree" for Christmas or "what would we do with a pumpkin AFTER it's a jack-o-lantern, it would just get in the way." It's at these times when I realize I have not insisted enough on sharing the real importance of the symbols of Christmas or Halloween or whatever holiday happens to be discussed. I NEED to be better at discussing the importance of my cultural heritage with Shimon and I haven't much thus far.

This year will be a low-budget Christmas celebration, but that does not mean that there can't be a lot of holiday cheer involved. :-) It just hit me last night that I have not been as vocal about the cultural celebrations that I want to share with Shimon and I need to start being more specific about what I would like to do for some of the holidays that are important to me.

Sometimes I have really delayed reactions to the fact that I am operating in two cultures, but my significant other is not. He's operating in his own culture. In order to bring him closer to my culture, I have to make a concerted effort. Here's to doing that in full force from now on! (Well, maybe not full force, but there will be much more effort from now on!)

Now... any recipes for Christmas goodies that don't require an oven?? I have limited oven access, so any recipes that don't require one would be AWESOME!!

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Yay for friends!

Last weekend I had a very special friend visit from Korea. Ji Yon is a friend that I met in Hawaii and I have been good friends with ever since. We live so close (less than 2 hours!!) and I haven't managed to get to Seoul to visit her.

Well, she beat me to it! She had a free weekend, a free ticket and so she came to see me. We had a great girlie weekend. Sadly, we didn't take many pictures. But we did get a really good one of us in Yokohama.


No, I am not a giant, Ji Yon's just tiny! :-)

I spend a lot of time in Yokohama since Shimon lives there. He met us there and did an impromtu tour for the two of us (mostly for Ji Yon's benefit).


The view of Yokohama at night is really nice... well worth a visit if you ever have the chance.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Getting over hurt feelings.

So, I live in Japan. I think that I've adapted fairly well to the culture that I live in. I also think that most of the cultural differences and subtleties do not come as much of a surprise anymore. There is one area that I don't seem to be able to get used to.

In Japan, many times couples do not socialize or even meet each others friends. On a number of occasions when I would have liked to go to certain gatherings (mostly barbecues and things that are outdoorsy and fun) of Shimon's (boyfriend) friends, I have been excluded simply because the group is set and outsiders would change the dynamics and somehow, inexplicably, make it weird or bad (in Japanese I would disturb the "wa" of the group).

I get it. I won't be invited to anything that involves that group of friends. In my head, I understand. Then why does it always hurt my feelings?

This time, Shimon thought that I might be able to be included (the group of people was slightly different) and told me as much (but without having checked with the person planning the bbq first). And once again, I can't go. I should have seen it coming. I should have been prepared. But I wasn't and I've got hurt feelings.

I don't even know why. Maybe it's because I always hope that the next time I might be included or it might be okay for me to go to an event. Or maybe that's one thing that I really miss about the US - I know there are some events that are exclusive and require a specific invitation, but there are many, many times when it is perfectly okay to take a friend or girlfriend to an event (especially something like a bbq).

I just needed to vent a bit because it's bugging me that I can't somehow get over this strange cultural "hump" that I seem to be stuck on. If anyone has any ideas or interesting "takes" let me know!

Odd things that happen...

So lately there have been some strange things that have happened. Now, these things have nothing to do with Japan or really with me. I suppose that they are just random coincidences of time and place.

First, Monday night Shimon and I went for a walk after dinner. There is a very nice park near where he lives and so we went for a walk. We went to the viewpoint where you can see a lovely night view of the Yokohama skyline. Usually the park is busy at night with dog walkers, but we were there right around dinner time as we had eaten fairly early ourselves. As we were leaving the park, we saw a man and woman fighting. We couldn't hear anything, but we could see that the man was being rather rough. We got closer and the man hauled the woman into the nearby trees. Both of us were worried as to what was going on, but weren't sure what to do. I had to use the bathroom, so I said, "I'll be right back, keep watch." While I was gone, he asked whether things were ok. The man responded "OK" and then more weakly the woman also said "ok."
Everything was ok as far as we knew and there wasn't much more we could do. What would anyone have done? After we left the park, Shimon made me promise to never go there alone at night!

Second strange thing. Today I was on the train and a man motioned that I should have his seat. I was listening to my iPod so didn't really hear what the man was saying. Turns out he was kind of "crazy." He was speaking to me in Japanese and I couldn't understand what he was saying (this is after I removed my earphones), I realized he wasn't really saying anything that made sense. The woman sitting next to me was trying to pretend not to notice, but I think she was relieved I had sat down. (She just had that look) I must admit I felt a bit stupid, but at least I tried to talk to the man. I think most Japanese people would have ignored him (and were ignoring him), which I just couldn't do.

These two "strange" encounters could have happened anywhere and they would have struck me as odd. I just felt like sharing. :-)

Tuesday, October 06, 2009

my feelings on rain...

Rain. It's water - that comes from the sky. It can be warm or cold. It is very helpful for plants. It's also necessary in order to grow a large portion of the world's food. Sometimes it is a mist... some times it comes to drench - as if a bucket has been overturned on your head. At times it is a relief and other times a burden.

Right now!?!? I just want it to go away!! A single day reprieve (Sunday) was not enough to prepare me for an entire week of rain. It's only Tuesday and I'm sick to death of the rain. I know that the rain is coming from two simultaneous typhoons that are rather close to Japan. I know this, but it does not stop me from just wishing it would all go away.

*sigh* Ok... enough about the rain. (And yes, I will blame it on the rain!)