Kind of serious stuff...

Last night I had a long, tear-filled conversation with a friend. Tear-filled because ever since I lived in Japan, my tear ducts tend to get a great workout. Not sure why, but they just do.

This particular friend told me something that made me cry... not because it hurt my feelings, but because it is true. And only once he said it outloud did I realize how true it is.

He said to me that I have self-esteem when it comes to academics and friendship and work, but in the area of relationships I have a very low self-esteem. I'd basically poured out my heart to him (it was kathartic actually...) and so he heard the pain in my voice and face when I was talking.

And the things is, he's right. I have self-esteem to spare when I'm doing sports or studying, but when it comes to dating I feel hopelessly lost. And to make matters worse, I have few close friends who are in the same situation as I am. My close friends are all in stable relationships or are married. I know there are a few who aren't, but overall that's the picture I see.

So, that was the heavy conversation that I had last night... until the wee hours of the morning actually. And now I'm off to do something with self-esteem intact... KENDO!!

Talk to you later!

Week 2: Over and out!!

Last week was an interesting one... I've gotten started with working up at the university once in awhile. It's basically having conversations with students studying English. How hard is that?? :-) Not hard, but very fun!

Wednesday I went out with some friends from my really amazing class last semester. We had a really good night... except for me falling apart and bawling when I heard a song in one of the restaurants we visited. Argh!! Crying is BAD!!! Hahaha... overall, things ended with karaoke... and Lauren - I sang Cherry and almost started crying! I MISS YOU!!!! ;-)

This weekend has been pretty mellow all said. I played some pool last night with Kenzo. It was pretty fun... he's such a pool shark and he's giving me all sorts of tips and all that. Watch out world... I'll get those angles down soon!! ;-) And then I'll be unstoppable!! ;-) Hahaha!!

Hope all's well....

Back to the grind!

So, I've been back in Hawaii just over a week. Eeeeek! I'm not a huge fan... I liked being on vacation and not having to do school work. BUT... I have two mini New Year's resolutions. 1) Do more homework on the weekends so that I don't get overly stressed out. and 2) Start running regularly again.

The first one I've already made some progress with. I've been doing bits and pieces of studying ever since the weekend started and today I'll be doing some more. Yay!! The second, I've made a bit of progress toward... I bought some running shoes on sale at Footlocker yesterday... so now I have no excuses not to run. Other than the obvious: I'm a lazy git! ;-)

While I was home over Christmas I made a decision to go back to Japan next year to study... which means that I'll be heading over there in the fall if all works well. Let's hope that it does! ;-) Being in Japan next year would also mean that I'd be closer to one of my best friends that I've met here, Ji yon, as she's an exchange student from Korea and has to go back after this semester. :-(

So... it might be that people who want to come to Hawaii to visit might have to do so before next fall... so let's get a move on folks!! Haha... just kidding... it would be even cooler if you'd like to come to Japan to visit. ;-)

Other mini resolution, I want to keep my blog up a bit better. I've been really bad and I don't like that... so... kore kara ganbarimasu!! (From now on I'll try hard!)

MERRY CHRISTMAS, HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

First I should apologize for being so bad!! I didn't have much time during finals or during the Christmas holidays to put anything up on my blog. And there's so much to report now!! ;-)

Finals week was CRAZY!! It was all I could do to get through it without catching a cold during the middle of it all. But as soon as I hit send on my paper that was due on Friday... I got a cold!! Eeeek! I was sick about the first week while I was at home... but after that I was pretty good. :-)

The day after I arrived in Fairbanks, my friend Kirsty flew in. She came to spend an Alaskan Christmas with my family and I. We had SO much fun! Among the list of things that we did: snow-machining, dog mushing, watched 2 hockey games (YAY UAF!!!!!), xc skiied, played with my puppy, etc. It was really great! And now Kirsty is an unofficial member of the Smyth family. ;-) Seriously!! We had such fun!!

I arrived back in Hawaii after an amazing holiday and headed right up to campus for a meeting with my advisor. Basically I DO want to go study in Japan next year... after too much time has gone by some of the choice programs are full... but that doesn't put me out of the running. :-) Which is good to know. I've got to go meet with the study abroad coordinator tomorrow after I get done with my one class! (I tried to get all my classes to be on T/TH, but that got all messed up when one section was closed of the Japanese class that I need to take... the one that fit perfectly. Anyway... wish me luck with sorting all that stuff out. It would be really great to go back to Japan as a student. It'll be a totally different experience than before.

Anyway... that's the brief update! I'll try to be better about updating things on here...